Inspiration in the Midst of Identity Crisis

“Who are you?”

A simple question that nobody can easily answer: I am a sister, a student, a best friend, but I am also so much more.

I think more often than not, we allow what other people label us as to define and limit what we believe ourselves to be. For so long, I’ve let how people view situations in my life to influence my future actions. Those same future actions then just serve to reaffirm people’s view of my life. It’s a vicious cycle. I don’t know when we were told we had to be only one person, but I don’t like it.

Some days I want to play a different role, but I’m too scared to. Maybe there’s a new style of clothing you want to try, or a new approach in life that you want to take. Why haven’t you?

Growing up, getting dressed was my favorite part of the day. It still is. I’m not ashamed to say that I find identity in the clothing I wear. I think it represents my values and personal character- it’s a form of expression.

I purchased my first sweater set at Talbots in middle school. I enjoyed wearing cardigans around my shoulders, not my hips, unlike other children my age. I got the idea from a Ralph Lauren ad that I oversaw in a magazine. I thought it exuded class, elegance, and timelessness.

One day in high-school, I had meticulously planned out my outfit: monogrammed white button-down, jeans, riding boots, and a Brooks Brothers cardigan tied around my shoulders. The day was going smoothly, until I walked into my last class. The minute I sat down, somebody had something to say that forever stuck with me- because it was personally the meanest insult I’ve received to date. I brushed it off because I thought I was too confident in myself to otherwise care.

Three years later, I went to wear a cardigan around my shoulders and the insult popped back into my head. It played on repeat as I looked at my outfit in the mirror. I had to mentally tackle the insult to my identity all over again. This is not uncommon. Our words have power. We can make people or break people’s dreams, build them up or tear them down.

Our words inspire, or they influence.

So how do we find inspiration in the midst of identity crisis? Remember what you’re passionate about, and why you’re passionate about it. Surround yourself with people who have similar values, and who inspire you. Life is too short to surround yourself with those who negatively influence your life though direct insults, backhanded compliments, and cynicism. Be the person you want to be friends with.

“We attract people by the qualities we display; we keep them by the qualities we possess”.

Some days I want to pretend I’m jetting off somewhere fabulous like I’m doing in three weeks. Other days I want pretend I’m about to go on an equestrian trip. Very few days, I want to get entirely dressed up for absolutely no reason at all and pretend I’m someone of importance. 

Cocktail dress? Check. 

Sky-high heels? Check.

 Huge shades? Check. 

Reason to get dressed up? Because being well dressed is a beautiful form of politeness.

I’m confident, and I make judgments based on my own decisions, but it’s an innate part of human nature to wonder ‘how will people react’?

Why does it matter?

People will influence and criticize, but when you’re constantly surrounded by people who challenge you and inspire you, suddenly what others think about you seems less significant.

Inspire, don’t influence.

Ciao,

M