Lately, I've been paying a little bit more attention than normal to the way I communicate with people. Communication is one of the most important skills to have. Without effective communication skills, you lack the ability to get a message across in the most efficient way. This can affect not only your social life (we all know people who cant hold a conversation or can be frustrating to talk to at times) but it can severely impact your work life.
Having matured a bit into more "grown-up" positions of employment, I've begun to realize a change in tone and word choice in the way different employers address people. I've often realized that the most effective leaders, those that maintain a supervisory personage that automatically attains respect but who can also make you feel like you're one of the most important assets to the team, have stellar communication skills... skills that are so subtle that others rarely catch on.The reason these leaders have the ability to retain top-notch team members, recruit the best, and maintain a positive working environment, is because they know how to communicate their thoughts and feelings in a straightforward but suggestive manner. When this kind of environment exists, employees and team members want to contribute and are encouraged to take responsibility and initiative. It's a win-win situation for everybody.
So how do they do it? Let's look at some examples.
Quality 1:
They aren't quick to place blame, even if you made a mistake.
They call it to your attention without belittling you. This solicits a better, positive response.
Scenario: You forgot to attach an important document to an email and you didn't realize it because you were in a hurry. The deadline is almost up, and you need to get it in.
Tone 1: "You didn't attach the document, where is the file?"
Tone 2: "You must have forgotten to attach the document, please email it back to me ASAP."
Quality 2:
They're open to feedback, and welcome your opinion. They don't exactly tell you how to do everything, every time, because they expect you to finish the task on your own.
They encourage you to think and share ideas, and even if they don't always agree they attempt to incorporate them when or if possible.
Quality 3:
They employ the mirroring technique when speaking to you by reiterating some of your vocabulary and mirroring your tone and body language.
Quality 4:
They don't ask you to complete a task, they tell you to... nicely.
Instead of asking, they already know that they expect you to have it done by the assigned time- no questions asked. Instead, they phrase it so it sounds like a request that you've already accepted.
Scenario: There's a project that will require a lot of meetings with the client in order for it to be successful.
Tone 1: "Will you attend this meeting on behalf of the company?"
Tone 2: "We would appreciate it if you will attend the meeting on behalf of the company. It takes place on X date at Y location, and we will provide you with a list of people who will be in attendance."
Quality 5:
They acknowledge hard work, and use it as motivation to keep working. They provide you with extra opportunities and responsibilities to keep things varied and interesting.
Quality 6:
They aren't above saying 'thank you' ... but they won't overuse it.
Quality 7:
They're clear with what they want and what they expect, so there's no gray area and no room for excuses. They're to the point and direct with what they envision and what they think because they respect others' time, and they expect the same from you.
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