I want to take a second to be completely transparent here- with myself, my friends and my readers. Yes, I do take a LOT of amazing pictures and tweet about how much I love my life here. Yes, I do love my life here and yes, I can travel as much as I want here.
I would just like to clarify though... I do get homesick, I am homesick, and I think about home every day. Giving up everything to move across the globe was a huge step for me and while it is one that i'm glad I made, it's still a struggle even on my best days.
When I say "home", I mean my country.
When something goes wrong, it's all too easy to fall back and say "well I wouldn't have to deal with that if I were at home". When i'm laying in the park drinking wine with friends, it always passes through my mind that I wish my best friends were here to experience things with me.
And when people here ask me what a monogram is, I miss my home a little bit more.
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| Gorgeous sunny day in Raleigh, North Carolina. Photography by: laurenwinstead.com Oak City Ties |
I know that an important part of growing up is learning to adapt to new surroundings, but adapting to new surroundings has a funny way of showing you what you used to take for granted.
I'm still waiting for the lesson in being homesick, but i'm starting to realize a common theme:
You can take the girl out of the city, but you cant take the city out of the girl.
I can live in Europe for three months or three years, and I will always be an American and will always miss America. I may note some things that I prefer about Europe versus America, but that fact will never change. It's the innate patriotism, the principles that I was raised with, the perceptions I've formed growing up.
I can't change my stripes and I can't pretend I don't get excited when I see anything that reminds me of America... I am an American, after all.
Sometimes it's clear cut for me: I feel like coming here was the best decision I've made. Even when it's hard, it's worth it because i'm growing as a person.
Sometimes, however, I think about how much I miss driving fast on sunny, summer days down long roads in my car; how I yearn to go back to New York City and Washington DC and fly out to see my stepsister in Los Angeles; how I long to drink G&Ts with my best friends in downtown Raleigh after a long day at work, creating inside jokes that may or may not be forgotten the same night.
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| New Years, 2012 with Al |
I think about sitting around and crafting in my friends' apartments.
I think about getting my manicure done at my regular nail salon.
I think about getting my manicure done at my regular nail salon.
I think about the chill of taking the first sip of my Starbucks iced hazelnut macchiato while i'm driving to class.
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| Patriotic cat lady- taking it to a whole different level |
And then I look around...
... and I realize i'm in Italy
I know that i'm fortunate: I can go wherever I want in Europe, be whomever I want to be, and I have all of the world's history, culture, art, and fashion centers at my fingertips.
I get paid to spend time playing games with children, and then spend that money on traveling in Italy, drinking cappuccinos in cafes, and on Italian clothing. I spend my evenings drinking Italian wine with my friends. Life is absolutely wonderful...
But sometimes I still want to go home.
Still learning how to get over homesickness and i'm still learning how to really appreciate just being in the moment no matter where I am, but it can be hard at times.
A presto,
Morgan
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